Growing Up on a Ship
Carys Parker boarded the Anastasis at only six weeks old and spent the next 18 years growing up on a Mercy Ships vessel. Daughter of Mercy Ships maxillofacial surgeon, Dr. Gary Parker, Carys spent much of her childhood in the hospital on board, playing with patients and making new friends.
In this episode, Carys shares the challenges and the extraordinary opportunities her unique childhood offered her. From fun stories of teenage mischief and the patients she loved, to the preparation her childhood provided for her career today, her stories will keep you smiling and uplift you.
You can find Carys’ vlogs about life on the Africa Mercy on her YouTube channel: Carys Parker – YouTube
Looking for a way to join our mission of bringing hope and healing? Partner with us through a gift, volunteering with us, or by joining us in prayer.
New Mercies Podcast Transcript
Welcome to the New Mercies, a podcast by Mercy Ships, where we’ll take you behind the scenes and on board our incredible hospital ships that are transforming lives all over the world. We invite you to join us each week as we sit down with our crew, patients, volunteers, and partners to hear their stories of life-changing hope and healing.
Raeanne Newquist:
I am so excited to have you on the podcast today. I have to say, you are probably one of the most unique guests that I’ve had on the podcast because there’s certain questions I try to ask everyone that I don’t think I’m going to be able to ask you. For example, I can’t ask you when you first heard about Mercy Ships. I can’t ask you why you chose to go volunteer with Mercy Ships. Because the truth is, you’ve known about Mercy Ships your whole life. And it would be a little bit strange, some would say to go volunteer in your own home. So, Carys, for those who don’t know you, why don’t you go ahead and give us a little snapshot to your background, and the unique life that you live?
Carys Parker:
Yeah, I grew up on two ships, the Anastasis and the Africa Mercy. And I first came when I was six weeks old. My parents told me as soon as they could get my passport picture, I came over. And so, I think my first country was Ghana, yes, it was. And I was on the Anastasis for 12 years, and then the Africa Mercy for all of my teenage years. I joined a very small group of ship kids who did the entirety of their schooling on the ship. I graduated from the Mercy Ships Academy when I was 18. And then headed off for the exciting, crazy journey of college and living in America for the first time and ended up coming back because I missed it so much. I ended up coming back to the ship right after college to work as a chaplain intern which really has shaped the rest of my life thus far as I went on to study theology. I’m a hospital chaplain right now hoping to come back to the ship one day. So the ship has shaped almost all of who I am.
Raeanne:
Tell us a little bit about what do you do in hospital chaplaincy? And where specifically are you right now?
Carys:
I’m living in Seattle, and I work in an adjacent city called Tacoma at St. Joseph’s Medical Center, and I’m a hospital chaplain resident. I’ve thought a lot about what we do, it’s kind of a diverse job. But basically, I consider myself someone who holds people’s stories, who helps them find meaning and support in normally the most tragic and trying times in their life. So sometimes I’m with patients who have been in the hospital for eight months and are just sick of it. Sometimes I’m with families who just lost their son in a car accident and were trying to figure out where to go. Sometimes I’m with families who are saying goodbye to their grandmothers, their mothers, their fathers, and I’m there to create a space to bring God into the conversation to bring hope and bring healing to just sit with the emotions.
So much of what I witnessed on the ship, as I was saying, really inspired me because I grew up around crew who didn’t just care about the physical, but the spiritual, the emotional — the holistic care of patients was so evident to me as a kid and obviously very inspiring. And so, I always was drawn to the hospital and for so long didn’t know what I could do as someone who is drawn to the hospital but also much more interested in theology and the spiritual side of things. I was so excited when I found out there was this niche, this place where I could be in the medical field, but working in the category I feel most called to. And so even as I think of a lot of the kind of tense situations that can happen on the ship, I think those situations are what has given me a calm in the emergency department, in these situations of crisis that I face in the hospital and like okay, I learned how to manage myself because of the ship, because of all of our fire drills of actual fires. We had just all of our protocol and living in such a structured environment. I feel like that shaped me for this kind of work.
Raeanne:
Well, not very many people can say they literally feel at home in a hospital! But you were in the hospital from the time you were tiny. What did your parents do that would cause them to bring a newborn baby onto a ship and stay for 18 years. What do your parents do? Are they still there?
Carys:
They are! My mom is texting me right now from the ship! My dad is maxillofacial surgeon and the chief medical officer on the African Mercy right now. My mom, she’s worked in a lot of different departments. She was the DTS director for a while she right now is working in hospital chaplaincy as the interim manager. They met on the ship. They are one of the Mercy Ships love both stories. I don’t think that they set out planning to raise their family on the ship. I think they were just doing what they loved, and so naturally wanted to bring their children into that world where they met and where they loved working. And then they just took it one year at a time. Before they knew it, they had raised both of us on the ship and never left. Both my brother and I. And so, yes, they are still there right now. And honestly, I feel I had a conversation with my dad once and he talked about how he doesn’t feel pressured to do that work. He wants to do that work until he isn’t able to do it anymore. So probably got some a few more years left.
Raeanne:
I hope so! Well, it’s such a unique growing up experience for you. Share with us maybe one of your favorite childhood memories.
Carys:
What will always be one of my favorite childhood stories is the story of Blessing. She was a patient in Liberia, and she was around eight and I was eleven. Her story is unique in itself, but I think the reason I love that story is I was always impacted by the hospital. As a kid, I always wanted to go down there to see what my dad was doing and to just be involved in that space. It’s surprisingly easy to live on the ship and not actually go down into our wards — there’s just so much going on. But you have to take intentional steps to be involved. But what happened with Blessing was, she was the first story where our mission and goal as an organization became my own. Before I went with my parents, I was a little nervous. I was always like, I don’t know, I don’t speak the language, what do I do? But one day, my mom said, there’s this there’s this little girl and she’s scared, and she’s nervous and she’s downstairs. It was during a time in my own life on the ship as a ship kid when there weren’t many kids my age. There are seasons where there are tons of kids your age, and then there are seasons where there are none. And it was one of those seasons and my mom encouraged me to go visit her so that we could help each other. Right now, this isn’t just you going down to bless her but you can bless each other. And so, she encouraged me to go by myself. That really started what would lead into my teenage years of this really incredible time making my home, as you said, in the hospital, not just on the ship, but in the hospital. And it became this story of just two girls, like two equals, two little girls sitting in the hospital every day painting rocks, playing games, learning each other’s stories and Blessing became one of my dearest friends during our time in Liberia.
We were there for two years, which was a unique time to have back-to-back field services in the same country. Her story and her perseverance healed me in so many ways and inspired me as I was lacking friends and feeling a little restless on the ship. And even today, we’re still in touch and she just messaged me the other day to let me know she graduated nursing school and she decided to become a nurse because of her time on the ship!
She had noma and had lost her lips.
Raeanne:
Can you tell us a little bit about what Noma?
Carys:
Noma is a flesh-eating disease that mainly preys on people whose immune systems are already very weak. And so, my dad told me most people die from it almost, I mean, not immediately, but very quickly. But he said it’s a very, very small percentage that actually make it through. But if you do survive the initial disease, you normally lose a part of your flesh, not like your cheek or your nose or your lips. And so, she lost her lips. It’s hard when you’re only nine years old, and you look scary, and people don’t want to talk to you. So, to be with her during that season, where she was literally getting my dad was building her new lips, she was learning to smile again, quite literally, was really moving and to see how far she’s come now after being so scared. And feeling like she had to hide herself to now wanting to help people and every time she sends me a picture, she’s just smiling. I met her when I was 11 and it will always be one of my favorites because I love that her name is Blessing because she was one of the greatest blessings for me and continues to be.
Raeanne:
I love that. You know, when we talk a lot about families on the podcast, you think sometimes that it’s the parents that are using their professional skills to serve on board, whether it’s a doctor or a principal, or you know, someone in the academy, the adults are serving, and the kids are just kind of along for the ride. That’s not true at all! The kids have such opportunity to serve as well. And I love how you as an 11-year-old, were able to go and really minister to this other little girl and in return, she really touched your life as well.
Carys:
Oh, yeah, absolutely. She moved me in so many ways. And all of a sudden, I wasn’t alone, I had friends. That’s what I loved about the hospital was they didn’t become patients for me, they became my friends. And I think that’s really a reflection of how Mercy Ships does the work that we do. We’re not just there to do a job and get it done, but to care about the entirety of people’s stories, to value their humanity. And I love that, I hope I hope to keep in touch with them for the rest of my life.
Raeanne:
Well, I think that’s so beautiful that she was so radically impacted that now she’s a nurse. And wow. That is very, very cool. So, you said that after being on the Anastasis for your childhood, you moved into your teenage years on the Africa Mercy. I had a couple of teenagers on board when we served on the ship and so I know that being a teenager onboard is a little bit different than being a little on board. Being a five-year-old running around is so great. But when you’re 13,14, 15, it’s a whole different experience. What is a favorite memory from your teenage years on board, as well as maybe what were some of the challenges being a teenager?
Carys:
I laugh at that question, because so many of my favorite stories probably involve breaking ship rules, which I don’t want to get into! But not bad ones, just, you know, when you’re a teenager, and there’s not a lot of other teenagers… And you are, I don’t want to say stuck on board — I think a lot of us wanted to be there or enjoyed being there —but you know, there is kind of that restlessness that begins to grow and so we were creative! I think something I will always cherish and miss about being a teenager on the ship is the creativity. Just the games we made up — capture the flag on the upper decks and the skits and blind man’s bluff in the hallways and the pranks! Oh, my gosh, I apologized to everyone I pranked as a teenager it was insane! I had big bugs, I had electric, spiders, rats, you name it. I just had so much fun. I feel like being a ship kid, you got to be a kid for longer. Even as a teenager, there was just this safe space to be creative and have fun, and not try to prove anything to anyone. Of course, there’s always that to a degree when you’re a teenager, but I felt there was a lot more safety. So I enjoyed being a teenager, there was just all types of stories that we experienced. But one, it’s kind of random, but what I really enjoyed was during one of our sails, my friends and I we used to love the sails, we put our hammocks up on deck eight, and we would have sleepovers and hang out and watch the dolphins. All these things looking back were just so cool. But anyways, once when we were sailing from Tenerife to Benin or Togo, and we found these, what turned out to be really rare marine birds that got stuck on deck eight. They had been covered in oil and somehow landed on the ship looking for refuge and my friends and I stumbled upon them and we got to take the rest of the sail to clean them and attend to them. We found doctors and nurses who could help us know what to do. But it was cool because the crew, the adult crew really let it become our project. And I felt like we were up there trying to give mercy to the little birds.
“We’ll help you!” We got to help these birds until we released them and they flew away. And that was a really powerful experience. Because again, as a kid, like you said, you’re looking for ways that you can be involved, and that you’re a part of healing and restoration and bringing hope. It’s a silly story, but it also was very meaningful because animals are not often something we get to participate with on a giant metal ship. And so that was kind of cool. That’s just an example of the all the creative things we would get up to as teenagers.
I didn’t realize how unique these moments were until I was telling this story to someone casually at the hospital and they were like “Where did you grow up? Like what is this?”!
When we were on the African Mercy it was very common to go through rough seas and I remember at one point because my bed was tipping so drastically that I almost fell out of my bed and I heard a crash and my dad yelled, “Alright kids, like all hands-on deck, we need your help.” I stumbled out of bed and our fridge was falling down. We grew up knowing how to get our cabin prepared for sail, we tie everything down, that’s the normal thing. But that’s how rocky the seas were — our plants were falling, our fridge was tipping. And so, my family formed this like human chain, and I remember it so clearly — my dad holding the fridge and he was holding my shoulder and I was holding on my brother Wesley, and my mom had her feet on the plants, so that our cabin was being held together by our human chain. It was one of those things as a 16-year-old that felt inconvenient. And I got through it and then went back to bed and I was like annoyed! But looking back, I thought, oh my gosh, what an example physically, but also metaphorically of what it was like to be a family, I mean, a crew member, but also a family on the ship, getting through the literal storms, but also just the chaos of life. It’s beautiful. It’s messy, it can be chaotic. That’s something I love about the ship is they taught you how to do it together.
I mentioned a story earlier when there was a fire on board in the engine room when I was 8. And during a time where we should have been so scared and so afraid because we were getting ready to abandon ship, I remember my dad carrying me into our mustering station, and I sat down and they were doing the roll call. And I didn’t feel afraid, because I looked around and I saw a crew of people who are praying. God is there in the discomfort. And who knew no matter what the answer was, whether we leave this ship sinking, and we go off in our life boats or the fires put out, we’re not going to be alone, we’re going to be together, and we’re going to have a mighty or God. For me that was just so inspiring. I feel like I now go into very critical situations today or high stress situations and I am drawing from those experiences as a child and again, those wonderful people who taught me to pray and to have faith.
But I think your second part of the question was like, what are the challenges? I don’t know, I think the main challenge that comes to mind is that there’s just not a lot of teenagers and so you’re looking for people you would relate to or people to hang out with. There are some seasons where it’s just you. And the positive is that it taught me to be very comfortable with people who were older than me and people who are younger than me. I feel like I didn’t really recognize the challenges until I left the ship, in a sense, till you realize there are a lot of things that I was exposed to, if I think about the depth of stories, and wow, that the patients and the things we saw and experienced as kids on the ship, we were enriched in one area, but some other things we weren’t as well exposed to. So, by the time I got to land, I realized there are quite a few gaps in my social awareness or just in my cultural understanding of my own home country. Like we didn’t learn how to drive at 16. Like just little things you wouldn’t think about and then you show up on land, and I’m 18, or going to college, and I’ve never driven a car, things like that!
Raeanne:
Well, you know, that actually is a perfect lead in my next question for you was, you know, when you left the ship to go to college, there must have been some major adjustments — things like you mentioned that you’ve never learned growing up on the ship or experienced. So aside from driving a car, what were some of those major transitions that you went through when you got on land and went to college?
Carys:
Well, I remember my first week showing up at college fresh off the boat. There were so many people my age, and I’m not used to that. Well, someone asked me within the first week if I wanted to go clubbing and I remember literally not knowing what that meant. And I thought it meant beating something with a club. And so, I was kind of concerned — like why are you asking me to do this violent act?! And I had to look it up, like I googled it on my first phone. I never had a phone either. And so, I googled it and saw it was going to clubs and I thought, I don’t think I’m there yet. And so, I turned him down. But it was just so many moments where people would say things and I wouldn’t know what they meant. And the other thing about being like a third culture kid on an ship is that I look American and I sound American, so I didn’t feel like there was that natural grace or patience for my lack of cultural understanding when it came to American life, because it’s like your American, your passport says you’re American, you sound American, you should know better. Right? But I didn’t, because I have the accent of my parents, but I much more related to West African culture, to ship culture, even international cultures. As a kid, I had more people in my class from the UK or from South Africa, from other countries than my own country. It took me a while to become comfortable being myself and not trying to become a chameleon, which is another thing I think that third culture kids are good at, we will just be what we need to be in this culture. I tried to do that for a while and then realized, you know, know that this is not who I am. I’m a ship kid. And I can still be a ship kid, even here in America.
Raeanne:
Well, you mentioned being a third culture kid, that might be a term that most people don’t really know what that means. Can you explain that to us?
Carys:
Yeah, as far as I understand it, it’s someone who has a nationality has been given to them in birth, and by their family of origin, but they grew up in a culture that is not that culture of origin and their family’s culture. And so they have this third culture that they’re most familiar with, but they’re also not from that country that we connect with the most. It kind of feels almost like this label of limbo, like, we connect the most with this culture and yet, they don’t maybe connect with us, and then our own home culture we’ve never lived in. So we connect with that by look, and by accent, but nothing else. So that’s, that’s a third culture kid and most ship kids are third culture kids.
Raeanne:
It’s interesting, because I would think, in some cases, that could really pose an identity crisis, and really a struggle of finding yourself and what you belong to. What do you consider home?
Carys:
You know, I was actually just talking about this with someone at the hospital the other day, because that’s something patients ask me all the time when I’m like, “Hi, I’m Chaplain Karis. I’m here to see how you’re doing.” And they’re like, “Oh, where are you from?” And I’m like, oh, how do I answer this without going into this long story you do not need to hear right now. I really consider the ship to be my home still and what’s interesting about that, is that even though community is constantly, as you know, constantly rotating on the ship, like everyone I grew up with is probably, maybe a few of them are still on the ship, but it’s a completely different community. And yet, I feel like it would still feel more like home to me than here because it’s a group of people who value the same things I was taught to value and do value today, who are about the same things in the world and have had this mission of restoring Shalom and sharing God’s love and being aware of what God is doing in this world and wanting to partner with him in that. I actually do feel like even when I just go and visit the ship, and it’s a completely new community, I still feel at home there because it’s people who are upholding those values, and are about such wonderful things in the world. I think that home is less about geography for me now and more about mission. And there have been times where I have shown up in places that weren’t ship related, but were with groups of people who had a very similar vibe and I felt at home.
Raeanne:
That’s beautiful, because it is an incredible part of who you are now and it has formed who you are. And I’m sure it has allowed you to have compassion upon people who are maybe just moving into your city, or just moving into your town who come from either a different state or a different country. People don’t understand what it’s like to be new in a place but to have someone that can have compassion and understand other cultures, other countries and just welcome them in and love on them.
Carys:
Yes, I I’m really thankful for how the ship did instill that desire to include to be constantly learning from other people and the cultures and background they bring and I always feel like my heart is so attuned to that at the hospital. I am naturally so drawn to the people who feel out of place or are apologizing because they don’t know English well enough. I tell them there does not have to be apologies or stress right now because I feel at home with you and I hope you can feel that way with me too. People on the ship are so good at caring for people who feel out of place or who have been taught to believe that they’re out of place so they don’t have a place, as my dad always says, they don’t have a place at the table of human race. And I feel like what we’re trying to do is invite everyone to that table. I love that that’s a part of my core mission in this world.
Raeanne:
What a gift that you were raised with that as being a value. And now you get to share that gift with all the people that you serve and care for in the hospital. Carys, as you mentioned, you know, a lot of people come and go on the ship. It’s rare that someone comes on board at six months old and stays until they’re 18. There were a lot of goodbyes in you’re growing up. Likewise, though, there are probably a lot of amazing people that you got to meet. Can you tell us about someone that you met on the ship that really impacted you? Whether that be a crew member, or I know you mentioned the Blessing in the hospital, was there a person that stands out to you as someone who really impacted you?
Carys:
I mean, so many incredible people. And it’s hard. I just want to name every single one of them. But I mean, my parents, so many leaders and teachers, and I think I will say a teacher, though, because as someone who grew up on the ship, I really have such respect and thankfulness for teachers who come and provide a consistent presence, and to be prioritized as a kid. There is such intentionality in our school and it’s a real deal. There are great teachers, it’s accredited, it’s a really great school. As far back as I believe I was in first grade, I had a teacher named Miss Bev, and I can still remember her. She was from South Africa. As first graders, we get to go and sit in her cabin and have tea with her and she would tell us stories. She was the person I thank for teaching me creativity and telling stories and the art of telling stories and using your imagination. And she was a teacher who was just so invested in the spiritual formation of her students, not just teaching us information, but transforming how we saw ourselves and who we thought we could be in this world. She was very empowering. And even to this day, I have continued to be in touch with her. Once I met her in Jerusalem, we just happened to be there at the time! And we got tea together just like the old days. And so, she’s one example of this archetype of so many wonderful teachers that I had. But I, I bring her up because I’m so thankful for the time and the seriousness in which she took her job that she was she was there for an experience, of course on the ship. But she also really, really helped us see that we were a part of that mission and why we were there, and that we weren’t just a side thought on the ship, but we were a part of that community. She did that by valuing us and by giving us her time, even outside of school. And so, I love her, I will always love her.
Raeanne:
Shout out to miss Bev, you’re the best. Well Carys, when you are on board, I think it was maybe your later teenage years, you started making videos — videos of the ship and videos of your adventures. I think you call them vlogs. They’re like video blogs. And they have become wildly popular, especially amongst people who are considering going and serving on Mercy Ships. You have a large catalogue of these videos that are very well made, very whimsical and funny and fun, but very informative. I know that when we were considering going as a family, I have three children, and they watched every single one of the Carys Parker videos! So, before we get into those a little bit more, everybody you can check out Carys’ YouTube channel, Carys Parker with all these incredible videos of Mercy Ships, but Carys, what prompted you to start making these videos and tell us a little bit more about them?
Carys:
I think there’s two parts to that. And again, shaped by the ship of course, as a teenager another thing that we did for fun was we made videos for the renowned Africa Mercy Film Festival. Pretty much up there with the Oscars, but I don’t know, I don’t know why they haven’t been discovered more! But yeah, we had these yearly film festivals and as teenagers, that was really exciting. So that’s where I first learned how to start editing videos. I hope no one ever asked to watch them again, because they were awful, but you know, you have to learn somewhere. So, I started making videos there and so kind of developed this love for telling stories through film. And then it was when I was coming back to the chaplain intern after college, I was talking to my parents and saying, Well, maybe I’ll do a blog to share my story with my supporters and whatnot. And it was my mom’s idea actually, she said, why don’t you do a video blog because you’ve always enjoyed videos. And I also personally prefer processing out loud, sharing out loud versus writing, it’s much more natural for me and enjoyable for me. So, it started out more as a personal video blog, as you said, but then quickly turned into these How To videos and answering questions, because I guess I didn’t expect to find a community on YouTube and online that was so interested in the day to day life of what it’s like to be on a ship as well as wanting to prepare for their own experience on the ship. And so it really quickly went from these personal videos to answering people’s really good questions, and requests for How To videos. It was very unexpected. For me, I had no idea that there would be such a response. I hope to keep making them one day if I go back.
Raeanne:
What are you most proud of having grown up on his ship? And what are you most thankful for that you’ve learned from your international life?
Carys:
Oh, man, so many things. I think, you know, you mentioned it before how there are so many amazing people we get to meet on the ship and I think what I’m most proud of, in a sense, is actually the chance to have been formed and shaped and mentored by such an array of diverse, brilliant, motivated, driven people. I mean, I even think back my parents who like to tell the story of since I was just a toddler, like one years old, they would bring me down and let patients who were missing home, missing their own children, hold me and pass me around. And I think about the love that I received from these strangers, these patients who took care of me while my dad was doing rounds, and you know, checking on everyone, and the trust that I learned from them. And then I think growing up and all the people who took care of me as a child, and the people who invested in my education and trusted me with the opportunities to work on the ship or to volunteer in different areas where there was need. It is so unique to have that quality of people, and then getting to grow up around them and just have their values instilled in your own heart and life. And so I think I’m most proud and thankful to have been able to learn and to grow from that caliber of people. And when it comes to what I’m thankful for international life, I was reflecting on this the other day, and I think it’s the endless curiosity that it has taught me, to be endlessly curious, to be a lifelong learner. To both appreciate the amazing diversity, and the ethnicities, and religions, and backgrounds, and all these things I got to learn from, but also at the end of the day, despite all of the diversity I experienced, I also saw that at the end of the day, we are all human. And we have the same core desires. We want to be known we want to be loved. We want to know what our purpose is. We want to know where we belong. And all of these questions across all these cultures I saw, I believe, find their answer in the same place, which is God, God’s kingdom, God’s community. And so, for me, it’s just such a privilege to learn and to value and appreciate cultures and know that I’m not always right, most often not right. And yet, at the same time, there is such a unity across these cultures if we look at those basic desires and those basic needs that we have as humans that want to belong and be loved by God and love others. And so, I think that is something I’m very thankful for.
Raeanne:
You have gained such incredible wisdom from the beautiful people that you got to grow up around and I am so thrilled that now you are giving back and you’re taking all that you learned and all of your experiences and their uniqueness and you are caring and loving and blessing others in your hospital chaplaincy work and we wish you many blessings as you continue to love on other people and really continue to extend hope and healing to the people that you serve in the hospital. Carys, thank you so much for sharing a little bit of your journey with us today. This has been an absolute privilege.
Carys:
Thank you Raeanne for having me. It’s a privilege to get to reflect on the richness of growing up on the ship.
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